What a Grown-Ass Woman Wants (#GrownAssMan Tour)
New Adult has taken the romance world by storm, which is pretty cool---especially considering that my first novel, Three Daves, is a college love story---but some of us thought it was time to celebrate the fully-formed man and all the lovely things he can bring to romance. By some of us, I mean:
Amber Belldene, author of the Blood Vine Series
Autumn Markus, author of The Art of Appreciation
Feather Stone, author of The Guardian's Wildchild
Jennifer Lane, author of the CONduct Series
Julianna Keyes, author of Just Once
Nicki Elson, author of Divine Temptation
(BTW, All Featured Novels Are Specially Priced At Only $0.99 – $2.99 Throughout The Tour!)
Each of us has spent some time falling in love with a fictional man over the age of 30 while we wrote the novels listed above. This week, we're each talking about grown-up love from our own perspectives, and we invite you to join in on the conversation. Please click on the links above to visit each author's post (and see what they're giving away at their places). Be sure to also stop by the Omnific Publishing blog to enter the Grand Giveaway---win a $50 Gift Card + a Grown-Ass Man eBook Collection. For a snippet about each of the authors and their Grown-Ass novels, visit my website.
My topic today is Grown-Ass women---or men---and how what they value in a mate has changed from when they first started mate-seeking. I chose this topic because it was the driving force behind writing Divine Temptation. As I've said before, I wanted to see how a mature woman with adult responsibilities would react to an otherworldly white knight being suddenly thrust into her life. I suspected her responses would be quite different from those of a teen or early twentysomething, and they were.
Not only did Maggie have adult responsibilities to keep her grounded, she'd learned through life experience---including a painful divorce---to appreciate different qualities in a man than she had at earlier points in her life. She even learned to admire qualities in her ex-husband that she hadn't paid enough attention to while they were married. So Divine Temptation is a very different kind of love story than Three Daves. I think that's true of all of us, don't you---that our personal love stories morph as we grow older because what we value in a mate/potential mate changes as we progress through this life?
I clearly remember what I was looking for in guys when I was an undergrad at EIU---my roommate and I called this ideal: Fun Guy. I was looking for the life of the party, someone who'd make me laugh and laugh. And I found him. I found lots of hims. But I also learned that Fun Guy was often synonymous with Drunk Guy. And that Fun Guy often turned into Overly-Sensitive and Needy Guy when not the center of attention. And he was almost always Selfish Guy.
My mate-seeking days are over, for better or worse, but I can see how my mate-dar has changed over the years in how I advise my daughter about boys. My number one advice: pay attention to how he treats his mother (and yes, I make sure my son is close enough to overhear). Is it with respect, thoughtfulness, and genuine caring? Or does he tend to disregard her unless he needs her for something? This is a good indication of how he'll treat the rest of the long-term women in his life. I also tell her to not discount the shy, socially awkward guys. It doesn't matter if he can't make a room full of people laugh as long as he makes her smile.
My topic today is Grown-Ass women---or men---and how what they value in a mate has changed from when they first started mate-seeking. I chose this topic because it was the driving force behind writing Divine Temptation. As I've said before, I wanted to see how a mature woman with adult responsibilities would react to an otherworldly white knight being suddenly thrust into her life. I suspected her responses would be quite different from those of a teen or early twentysomething, and they were.
Not only did Maggie have adult responsibilities to keep her grounded, she'd learned through life experience---including a painful divorce---to appreciate different qualities in a man than she had at earlier points in her life. She even learned to admire qualities in her ex-husband that she hadn't paid enough attention to while they were married. So Divine Temptation is a very different kind of love story than Three Daves. I think that's true of all of us, don't you---that our personal love stories morph as we grow older because what we value in a mate/potential mate changes as we progress through this life?
I clearly remember what I was looking for in guys when I was an undergrad at EIU---my roommate and I called this ideal: Fun Guy. I was looking for the life of the party, someone who'd make me laugh and laugh. And I found him. I found lots of hims. But I also learned that Fun Guy was often synonymous with Drunk Guy. And that Fun Guy often turned into Overly-Sensitive and Needy Guy when not the center of attention. And he was almost always Selfish Guy.
My mate-seeking days are over, for better or worse, but I can see how my mate-dar has changed over the years in how I advise my daughter about boys. My number one advice: pay attention to how he treats his mother (and yes, I make sure my son is close enough to overhear). Is it with respect, thoughtfulness, and genuine caring? Or does he tend to disregard her unless he needs her for something? This is a good indication of how he'll treat the rest of the long-term women in his life. I also tell her to not discount the shy, socially awkward guys. It doesn't matter if he can't make a room full of people laugh as long as he makes her smile.
So how about you---how has what you value in a mate changed since you first started dating?
To say thanks for making me one of your stops on the tour, I'm hosting a li'l giveaway below. After you enter, please do hop around to see what the other authors have to say about Grown-Ass love. Don't forget to enter the Grand Giveaway at the Omnific Publishing blog.
Comments
I'd always wanted someone who as stable and shared my interests. And sexy! Fortunately, I still have her.
Thank you so much for the post and giveaway!
Rachel x
I remember how shocked I was when I broke up with my HS boyfriend and he stopped showing up to our Astronomy club. I found out from a mutual friend that he'd only join because I was in it and wanted to get closer to me. Astronomy was one of the things (I thought) we had bonded over. To think that he only pretended to like it was heartbreaking - even more so than the actual break up.
I have absolutely no credibility on this topic, but I do think a sense of humor is very, very desirable in a man. If he can make me smile, he's won half the battle. :)
Love,
Janie
Now I look for kindness and responsibility.
Yes, Alex, it certainly does sound like you struck romantic gold w/ your wonderful wife. It's good you knew what would make you happy all along.
Glad you like that advice -- it's something I wish I would've payed more attention to when I was younger.
I'm so happy you enjoyed Divine Temptation. I LOVED your review. :)
It's always heartbreaking to find out someone you cared about wasn't actually the person you thought he was. *sigh*
Smiling is important, and I still need funny in a guy...just not i-need-to-be-the-center-of-attention funny.
I LOVE that screen door scene in AofA! It was the sweetest gesture done purely for her happiness. Practical is very good advice for your daughters---but if you go wrong, it doesn't hurt to at least live next door to Kind Mr. Practical. ;)