Please Fill in My Blanks

I'm just going to be up front:  I want to take advantage of you.

Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Group brings so many talented writers to my place, and since the purpose of the group is to help each other out, I'm asking you to give it to me.  Help, that is. 

I'm writing a short story for a friend, and I'm stuck on a line---that's where you come in.  Please read and consider the following and let me know in the comments how you'd fill in these blanks:

"For the last ever-since-I’ve-been-here years, the holiday parties have sucked harder than (a) __________ on a teat full of __________."

The more innocent and less political the connotation, the funnier I'll find it.  Also, I want it to be fabulous.  No pressure...

Thank you for your participation. :)



Haha!  I am having so much fun reading your creative thoughts.  Just as witty as I expected.

It's Thursday now, so I'm going to piggy back this post onto the Author! Author! Blog Bounce, hosted by Omnific Publishing and open to ALL authors.
Happy Bouncing!

Comments

Anne Gallagher said…
hungry puppy on a teet full of dog chow

an alcoholic on a teet full of whiskey

For the last ever-since-I've-been here years, the holiday parties have sucked more than getting my brand new Manolo Blahniks stuck in a sewer grate full of slushy snow mixed with dog crap.

Sorry, the best I can do, It's only 8 am and I'm not full of caffeine yet.
12/07/2011 7:00 AM
Alex J. Cavanaugh said…
No pressure? Now I do feel insecure!
Anne's first one is really close to what I was thinking.
12/07/2011 7:03 AM
Suze said…
an event horizon on a bit of information?
12/07/2011 7:09 AM
DL Hammons said…
For the last ever-since-I’ve-been-here years, the holiday parties have sucked harder than Marilyn Manson on a teet full of ugly juice.

I feel so used!! :)
12/07/2011 11:24 AM
Britta said…
Mmmmh - couldn't find "teet" in my dictionanary, but think it must be the teat?
Maybe "the party sucked harder than an orphan cat pitifully adopted by a hen?"
12/07/2011 1:34 PM
Britta said…
Well - you will find 'dictionanary' either :-)
12/07/2011 1:35 PM
Anonymous said…
Nothing to add for the blanks, but I like what you have so far for the sentence!
12/07/2011 3:10 PM
Michael Offutt, Phantom Reader said…
banker on a teet full of ponzi schemes.
12/07/2011 3:45 PM
M Pax said…
leech on a teet full of anemic blood.

OK, that was gross. :)

Happy IWSG, Nicki!
12/07/2011 4:21 PM
Arlee Bird said…
"...sucked harder than Rod Blagojevich on a teet full of jailtime."

Oh, sorry I was just listening to the news. Didn't mean to get political.



Lee
Tossing It Out
12/07/2011 4:50 PM
Karen Jones Gowen said…
I like Arlee's the best LOL. I don't have anything I'm just here for the fun.
12/07/2011 9:26 PM
Jennifer Lane said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
12/07/2011 9:53 PM
Jennifer Lane said…
LOL I think it is supposed to be teat!
12/07/2011 9:54 PM
Jennifer Lane said…
Renesmee on a teat full of vampire blood?
12/07/2011 10:01 PM
Debra Anastasia said…
Twitter on a teat full of time and productivity?
12/08/2011 9:48 AM
Cherie Colyer said…
well, if you want innocent... an infant on a teat full of milk.
12/08/2011 5:08 PM
Kittie Howard said…
hmmm . . . harder than a pig on a teat full of fruitcake.
12/08/2011 8:47 PM
anthony stemke said…
You already have some nice similes, I'm sure you will pick the best one.
12/08/2011 9:55 PM
Ciara said…
I'm late to the party, so I won't try. These are hilarious. :)

Thanks for checking out my trailer over at Alex's blog.
12/13/2011 5:47 PM
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