Three Daves is an angst-ridden romp through a 1980s college campus with Jennifer Whitney, a good girl who’s desperately trying to stay that way. Her story is told through her relationships with three very different guys: David, the sensitive loner; Dave, the ridiculously gorgeous punker; and Big D, the nearly perfect fraternity guy. Which one will be the one?Three Daves is available in paperback and e-book format at Omnific Publishing, in Kindle at Amazon and in Nook at Barnes & Noble.
A Peek Inside:
Jennifer Whitney was the last American virgin. At least that’s what she felt like in 1986 as she began her sophomore year at Central Illinois University. She was proud of her decision to wait for the right guy and yet she was getting restless. It seemed like everyone around her was doing the nasty and having fun doing it. How long was she going to have to wait? Perhaps it was time to stop relying on fate to guide her and instead take matters into her own hands. She didn’t want to become a campus slut or anything, but surely there was a difference between a trashy skank and a nice girl with a little experience. Author’s favorite quotes – Not the most profound things, but they made me giggle when I wrote them, and I think they’d look good on a T-shirt.
.
Chapter One:
“I suggest you icksnay on the artalecsmay.”
.
Chapter Two:
“The Old Testament is actually pretty raunchy. You might enjoy it.”
.
Chapter Three:
“Guess I’m a fake bitch, too!”
.
Chapter Four:
“I tell you what, I’m just going to lie down here on the sidewalk – would you be so kind as to start kicking me!”
.
Chapter Five:
Nobody ever found out exactly what became of the lime.
.
Chapter Six:
“I asked my interior designer to give me something appropriate for defiling virgins.”
.
Chapter Seven:
“Have you ever stuck one of these in your mouth before?”
.
Chapter Eight:
“I know every guy here, and they’re all pretty much jerks.”
.
Chapter Nine:
Stupid Shakespeare. Stupid beer
.
Chapter Ten:
Jen sincerely hoped she hadn’t just sighed out loud, but she couldn’t be sure.
.
Chapter Eleven:
“C’mon good girl, be bad.”
.
Chapter Twelve:
Jen was glad to see that they’d finally found a use for their condoms.
.
Chapter Thirteen:
“I say, it’s been a twelvemonth since I’ve been to the next village in a carriage and four.”
.
Chapter Fourteen:
At that point she would have been grateful for a friendly pat on the head.
.
Chapter Fifteen:
“Oh, shit! That’s my shoe!”
.
Chapter Sixteen:
“Me? I go wherever the wind blows…and wherever the whiskey shots are half price.”
.
Chapter Seventeen:
“They’re not even the same genre − one’s a cartoon and the other’s a muppet.”
.
Chapter Eighteen:
“You’re supposed to pinch yourself – not the one you’re dreaming about.”
.
Chapter Nineteen:
“I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.”
.
Chapter Twenty:
“Oh, you don’t go for serial killers?”
.
Chapter Twenty-One:
“Henry, give the boy some money.”
.
Chapter Twenty-Two:
She never dreamed it could be such a challenge to get her boyfriend to feel her up.
.
Chapter Twenty-Three:
Why was the word “cholesterol” suddenly so inconveniently hilarious?
.
Chapter Twenty-Four:
She was starting to think that it might be fun to be in control of the universe.
.
Chapter Twenty-Five:
Mary? Jane? Hi?
.
Chapter Twenty-Six:
She felt like a cat with its fur prickling when it sensed something amiss.
.
Chapter Twenty-Seven:
It was simply a matter of asking him to remove the tie from his head before he made love to her.
.
Chapter Twenty-Eight:
Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?
.
Chapter Twenty-Nine:
“Well, a lot’s happened since I last showered.”
.
Chapter Thirty:
“It’s like a meatloaf.”
.
Note: This list does not include the queen mother of my favourite lines. You will have to read the book to find that one.
